Parental communication is a critical component of a successful working family. You communicate with family members not just with words but also with your language and behavior. If there is poor parental communication in a family, the relationship with the children will worsen as they get older.
Poor parental communication leads to a lack of bonding with the children. This can lead to a lack of trust and love between parents and children. Poor parental communication can also make children feel neglected and unheard. One way to improve parental communication is to provide opportunities for the children to communicate their feelings.
This can be done by asking the children what they want to say or listening carefully and responding positively to what they say. It is also essential for parents to be aware of their own emotions. They should avoid communicating these feelings to their children if they are angry or upset. Instead, they should take some time to calm down before talking to their children.
Speak to a therapist or counselor if you are already a victim of poor parental communication. These professionals can help parents improve their communication skills. Low-income family communication can include yelling, holding grudges, keeping secrets, blaming, giving silent treatment, using ultimatums or threats, labeling someone terrible instead of their behavior, and bringing harm. If these problems continue, you will no longer feel close to your family.
How parents talk to their kids or how siblings talk to each other can impact their positive development when they are kids, teens, or young adults. If their bad feelings do not go away, young people can develop anxiety and depression. Kids can also develop behavioral problems when they do not respect authority or deal with at-risk behaviors like criminal activity and substance abuse.
What Is Poor Parental Communication
Parental communication is the talking and listening between a parent and child in a family context. Communication between parents and children continues regardless of the child’s age or developmental stage. Parents can be biological or non-biological caregivers (for example, adoptive parents or stepparents).
What Can Be The Reason For Poor Parental Communication
Several things could be the reason for poor communication, but the worst is not being able to communicate your feelings to a child well. Many parents say one thing with their mouths, but their body language opposes what they are saying verbally.
Some children are hesitant to talk to their parents about their worries and anxieties because they fear their judgmental faces. As a parent, you must know how your non-verbal communication affects your child. When your nonverbal behavior speaks louder than your vocal communication, your child won’t be confident enough to talk to you. Your behavior might just be harming your child’s bond with you.
Here are six common mistakes parents and children, especially teens, make when talking to each other, along with ways to avoid them.
1. Kids live in the present:
It is essential to grasp that some of what is happening here is a product of the maturation process. During the teen years, the planning and scheduling part of the brain, called the pre-frontal cortex, is still growing. A child’s behavior from two weeks ago is still important to adults, but the teen has moved on to other things. It feels like a lifetime ago, even though it was just two weeks ago!
2. Emotions rule teens:
In brain development, during adolescence, the emotional structures of the brain control how a person acts. The limbic system is the location where they are kept. The area of the brain, known as the amygdala is a structure responsible for interpreting risk and serves as the limbic system’s chief executive officer.
I mean this in a very literal sense: the amygdala, which was once able to detect danger from a tiger, is now on the lookout for other potential dangers, such as when you stare at your teen’s acne-covered face for too long. When the prefrontal cortex is not fully mature and cannot keep the amygdala under control, extreme emotions are experienced.
Brain scans have shown us this “voice’s” influence on adolescents. The teenage amygdala lights up in response to a stimulation that does not elicit a significant response in children or adults. When we listen, we hear chimes, but others hear gongs.
3. Teens are incredible observers and terrible interpreters.
Teenagers are aware of tiny tone and body language changes, but since their brains are still developing, they tend to misunderstand the significance of these cues. They hear things but are always quick to interpret them the wrong way
Any time my daughter wants to check out, and I tell her, “I don’t like what you are wearing,” her face will change immediately because she has misinterpreted my words in her heart and immediately jumped to the worst possible conclusion.
4. Parents fail to make the transition from caregiver to coach.
When children are younger, it is much simpler to speak authoritatively. You are their primary caretaker who shields them from harm and teaches them how to interact appropriately in the outside world. But puberty is the start of a change in how people relate to each other. During this time, your kids will want more independence and equality.
When we talk to teenagers like little children, they may respond with comments such as, “You are such a control freak!” Or, they may cease communicating with you altogether.
5. We ask the wrong questions.
Most times when I talk to my children, their responses will be like, “Do you think I’m still a kid?” As a parent, you care about the little boy who can’t help himself out there, but the little boy is seeing a man in himself who is old enough to take care of himself. These children are poor translators because their brain is still developing,
When talking to them, be cautious of the questions you ask because they all concluded that this made it appear as if something was wrong with them and the people around them that they couldn’t see. Notwithstanding they are poor translators, some of them have a valid argument. Some parents are under a lot of stress, which is being passed on to their children without even recognizing it.
6. We forget what it’s like to be a kid.
A parent’s natural desire to protect their child makes them want to help and fix everything. However, a child will interpret this as a lack of trust or faith on your part. What are some of the most typical examples of bad body vibes that parents give off that might lead to a rift in their relationship with their children?
When someone wants to discuss something personal with you, ignoring them or concentrating more on your phone than on them can send the wrong message. Putting on a horror face when they tell you something you didn’t expect to hear from them, always in a hurry to solve their problems without bothering to listen to what those problems are.
These things have led to some kids getting emotional support from people other than their parents. To put a stop to these activities, you need to be able to communicate in words and deeds that you are honestly open to their worries and anxieties. Please do this in a way that shows that you care about them. Actively listen without passing any judgment on what you hear.
The Effect Of Poor Parental Communication With The Children
Poor Language Skills Development
Failure to communicate with your child might result in delays in language development. Your child requires assistance changing the term “deuce” to “juice” and learning how to use words appropriately, which she will learn via dialogue with you.
While there are various views on how young children’s language develops, if your kid cannot verbally communicate her anger or dissatisfaction, she may use her fists or feet to get her message through. Talk to your child frequently, whether in the grocery store, in the vehicle, or over dinner, and encourage her to tell you about anything that comes to mind.
Weak Emotional Bonding
Good communication between parent and child strengthens your emotional relationship. It makes your child feel safe and secure, but a lack of communication can lead to distance, trust issues, and emotional problems. I personally think that the bond between a child and their primary caregiver sets the stage for future relationships and actions. Talking with your child demonstrates that you are there for her, are interested in what she has to say, and are eager to get to know her as a person.
Behavioral Problems
Children who don’t have the words to talk about how they feel may be more likely to act out. For example, a dissatisfied child unable to express her feelings verbally may use force to defend herself and create boundaries with others or violence to express displeasure with learning new tasks.
Most children act out when their parents fail to communicate effectively with them about the consequences of their conduct. It won’t be easy to educate your child to keep their hands to themself if you do not talk to them about how they use their words and how their behavior impacts others.
Conflict Resolution
Healthy communication helps resolve issues between parents and their children, regardless of age. Effective communication aids in settlement of various sorts of disputes while also modeling the art of conflict resolution. A toddler who doesn’t like eating beans shouldn’t be forced to eat them.
You need to talk to the little one about the benefits of eating beans. You will get a better result if you communicate effectively than if you use parental control on the child. Devise a better means other than yelling or shouting to cooperate, and focus on a solution.
The Remedy For Poor Parental Communication
Recognizing what causes communication problems
Recognizing what causes communication problems is the first step to fixing them. Doing so early on can help you and your child develop a deeper bond. You don’t want them to be afraid to confide in you while they are going through difficult times. You want to provide a safe refuge for anyone who needs help, counsel, or comfort. Start by using the following tips to better understand and talk to your teenage children.
Remember, you’re the parent.
Remember, you are a parent, so be a parent in deed for your children. Instead of being a friend to your teen, be an involved and caring mentor so she can see you as a role model. If you pretend to be a friend, they are more likely to dismiss and ignore you. Your children, particularly teenagers, require your guidance more than your company in order to mature and become fully functioning, independent adults.
Remain calm and lighten up.
Rage and impulse produce nothing positive. If you’re too stressed to think and respond rationally, take some time to calm down. Although, it is easier said than done, but it will save you a lot of trouble. Relax and remember that as a parent, you won’t always remain a role model forever, and as a teenager, you won’t remain a teenager forever.
Have realistic expectations.
You and your teen have really high expectations for the relationship. What is their expectation? They expect you to be a nurturing, loving mother all the time, which is challenging to accomplish when you don’t agree on everything. As a mother, you want your child to stay tiny and connected to your hip for the rest of their life which is impractical. Keeping a good balance between what your children, especially the teens, want and what they need from you will help you build a stronger, longer-lasting relationship.
Talk less, listen more.
Miscommunication might result in several confrontations. Learn to talk less and listen more. Instead of assuming, practice active listening by reflecting on what they say. When they think you understand, you will be able to talk to each other better and respect each other more.
Listen for underlying emotions in the message as well. Your child may be frightened to approach you with some topics because they worry about your reaction. When a child approaches you with a problem, be ready to listen and give them your full attention.
Put yourself in their shoes.
Please put your child’s life in context and acknowledge that they are going through a lot at once. Puberty, academic stress, friendship troubles, low self-esteem, and just growing up are just a few of your daughter’s concerns. You can win some of the fights if you approach their challenges with empathy and offer a compromise.
Furthermore, take a step back and put yourself in their shoes; this should be simple because you were once an adolescent who needed her mother. This will help you to understand the angle through which you will best relate with them to achieve a better result.
Respect boundaries.
Setting limits is one of the most important aspects of a good relationship with anyone. Following these limits and sanctions will ensure you are treated with respect. Limiting screen time, television time, playing, and hanging out at friends’ houses will demonstrate to children that you are still in charge. When setting limits, remember to ask your children what they think is reasonable.
Explain that you are prepared to bargain – up to a degree. Resolving communication issues between a parent and a child should be handled carefully to avoid resentment. Your teen is constantly evolving, and new challenges are unavoidable. At this time, don’t ignore communication. Remember how vital communication is, and don’t underestimate the power of hearing them out. This will not only strengthen your relationship with your children, and it will also set the tone for wellness.
conclusion
Most parents will agree that parenting is very different today than it was many years ago. If steps aren’t taken, parents who indulge in poor parental communication will hurt their relationship with their children. At this time, parents need to have good relationships with their children.
Communication between a parent and a child is more crucial than ever since it may significantly impact a child’s growth. Have you ever pondered as a parent why your child may choose to discuss their secrets with their siblings or friends rather than with you? Do you ever wonder why your child never wants to tell you about their day? Even if you give them a lot of pep talks and counseling, they will still seek guidance elsewhere rather than coming to you.
Many things could cause this, but one big one is when a parent can’t show their child how they feel. Many parents say one thing with their words, but their body language says the opposite. Some kids are afraid to tell their parents about their worries and fears because they think their parents will judge them based on their appearance.
Please read the social and emotional issues of a gifted child here.
As a parent, you must understand how your nonverbal communication influences your child. You should be aware that things you don’t say but communicate nonverbally can harm your child’s bond with you. Your body language will tell the child whether or not they can share a secret with you. You can change even one of these habits now that you know what creates communication issues between parents and their children.
Poor parental communication kills relationships in the family. The adolescent years are lovely, but stay connected to that chaos. Take advantage of your teen’s capacity to live in the moment. Even if you are guilty of some communication blunders, correcting them is not too late. They will only recall your previous methods.
Follow our YouTube channel for more.
Kidstir: Kitchen kits for children(opens in a new tab)
Read more of our articles here: https://abundanceandkiddies.com/
Treatment for Children with Anxiety
Pingback: How To Raise More Responsible Children In This Dispensation - PARENTING
Pingback: A Derogatory Language And The Dangers: A Destiny Killer